 |
The discomfort in networking
I have a love hate relationship with networking. The word networking puts me off, yet
I love deep conversations and making new connections. I am endlessly curious about people - their stories, challenges, and dreams. This is probably why I like being a coach. My struggle is in asking for help. I don’t like reaching out to people I’ve lost touch with, or connecting because I need to ask for a favor. I am a work in progress when it comes to asking for help. Asking feels transactional, sometimes icky, especially when I have nothing to offer in return.
Networking vs Excellence
I love Naval Ravikant’s take on networking: “Be a maker who makes something interesting people want. Show your craft, practice your craft, and the right people will eventually find you.”
This sounds great in theory, but in reality, most of us can’t afford to wait around and be discovered for the work we are doing. It is important to reconnect with old coworkers, friends, or people in your industry on an ongoing basis. This is especially true if you’re looking for a new role. After all, 85% of jobs are filled through networking. Introductions, referrals, even casual conversations can uncover opportunities you wouldn’t have known existed - even internally.
Hence, I do believe in mastering your craft and being excellent at it. But it helps to connect with people and share what you’re doing.
Reframe to Connection
I was always comfortable reaching out to people I knew well - my warm connections. Although, I had a hard time reaching out to people I had only met once at an event or had lost touch with. Once I learnt to reframe networking as building connections, it made it easier for me to reach out to people. I connected with the intention of learning about their current goals and challenges, and genuinely looked for ways to help. Even if it meant ending the conversation with a book recommendation or making an introduction to someone else.
Now I look at networking as building new relationships, nurturing old ones, and knowing when to let go. Not every connection is meant to last forever - some are for a season, some for a reason.
Through this new reframe, I’ve received referrals, got invited to be a speaker at events and a guest speaker on different podcasts. I’ve also made new friends with shared purposes, and joined communities I didn’t know existed. This has also given me a chance to make introductions and referrals for others as well.
Three people I know who changed their jobs in the last 6 months, did so because of an opportunity to interview through their referral networks. Being excellent is pre-requisite for the right role, but networking helped them get an opportunity to present their best selves in this market.
I still struggle when reaching out to those in senior roles or different industries. What can I offer them? Sometimes, the answer is nothing—and that’s okay. Instead, I focus on being prepared, listening well, and keeping their goals in mind for future opportunities where I could potentially give back.
Making it a habit
Don’t wait to start networking after you’ve decided to change your role. There is a lag time from knowing someone and building a genuine relationship. In the age of technology everything, trust is important, and the only way you can earn trust is to first make the connections. Make time for it, even if you’re in a new role. There are some wonderful people within your organization you haven’t met yet. If you make this a habit, it will not seem so daunting when you are seeking a new role or pivoting into a new venture.
Networking can be energizing for some, and draining for many. But we all know it is a best practice when looking for a new job, pivoting into a new area of work, or building a new community. The key is figuring out what works for you when it comes to relationship building. How are people supposed to help you, if they don’t know what you are looking for?
Think of one person who you’ve been meaning to reach out to this week and send them a quick message.
P.S. If you would like to receive my weekly newsletter, sign up here or subscribe to my substack https://diptipatel.substack.com/
Comments